It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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