The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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