what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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