He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
