i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
