I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
