i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize