So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
