He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it glows. i had to have it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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