It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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