Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
