It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Randomize
