when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
