If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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