If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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