If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
