Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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