So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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