I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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