marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
