i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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