You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
