I've blown a few things in my day
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
