ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
