I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i came on her dog
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
