Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
