Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
