i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
