First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize