So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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