coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
