Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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