i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
