I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
