i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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