I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
