Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
