There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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