don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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