it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
