I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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