What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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