The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
