I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
