I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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