WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
