I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
