Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
