Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize