yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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