I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bet he comes in French.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
