he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
