you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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