Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize