did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
