Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
