I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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