What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
