I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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