I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
