Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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