how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize