Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
