I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
