i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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