You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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