She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
