i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
someone get that fucking seahorse.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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