I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
