3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
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Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
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True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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