For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
