So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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